20 weeks: is it a boy cantaloupe or a girl cantaloupe?

I was starting to think that I wouldn’t get here…  Who knew that such a tiny little private part could cause so much drama?

It all started at our initial FPMS visit.  Being first time parents we had no idea what to expect, but the nurses laid out the path clearly for us – including the highly -anticipated boy/girl ultrasound that would happen on March 9.  We didn’t even consider not  finding out and were all for getting a good look at this kid’s crotchal zone ASAP.

At our most recent check in (end of February), we confirmed with the doc and administrators that we intended to find out.  We were SO excited – told friends, family, coworkers, writing group, random strangers at the coffee shops that March 9 was THE day.   Boy or Girl, let’s find out!!

Finally, after a sleepless night (admittedly, I stayed up watching Dance Moms on the internet), it was Friday morning.  Ken and I bundled up and headed off to the hospital, chattering away about the inevitable pros and cons of each varietal, astonished that within the hour we’d have a definite visualization of our pink or blue-tinted future.

As you may have guessed by this point, all did not go as planned…

It started (and ended) with the ultrasound tech.  I came away from this experience wondering if perhaps, by some miracle of make-up, ultrasound techs are predisposed to the mean gene?  To call her “brusque” would be generous, she was downright of the appearance of having something much better to do with her time than hang out with lame old us, checking out pics of the baby that we’ve seen 3 times in the last 20 weeks.  At the beginning of the appointment, she asked if we wanted to learn the gender.

“Absolutely”, we (enthusiastically) replied.

“We’ll see if it’s visible”.

Great.

It’s a challenge to be experiencing, feeling, and seeing something so incredible for the first time in my life, that is clearly Just Another Day at the Office for poor Elsie-Ultrasound.  Every “coo” and “wow”  seemed to cause her physical discomfort and emotional anxiety.  Within 15 minutes, she was wrapping up the cord to her wand and handing me a towel to wipe off the goo.

“umm – did we see whether it’s a boy or a girl”  Ken asked from the corner that he had retreated to.

“Oh – did you want to find out?” She sighed, slowly unravelling the wand

“Well, that’s kind of why we’re here…  ” Ken trailed off.

At this, Elsie-Ultrasound choked, as though the idea that soon-to-be first-time parents may be excited about learning the gender of their baby was crazy talk, “huh.  So you’re not here to confirm that the baby is heathy and doing well, then?”

(yes, she really said that.  Really.  I know)

The room was silent as she jiggled my little bump with one hand, and swept the plastic rod over my tummy with the other, pressing down hard.

2 clicks later, the lights were on.

“Good news:  I was able to determine the gender.  It will be in the file sent to your doctor.”

(Good news: i’m not going to pound you for being such a jerk – especially to my husband)

“Um – okay..  And when do we find that out?”

“Most people wait until their next doctor visit.  Whatever.”

(Next visit?  March 19???  You have GOT to be kidding me.  I’ve got pink or blue cupcakes to buy, and Gap Kids is having a giant sale this weekend!)

“Well, thanks for your… ”  and just like that, it was over.  My husband looked at me in shock, “did that really just happen?”.  Emails to the doctor and calls to the hospital got us nowhere, there was nothing further to try – the weekend came and we had no idea.  I googled “Ultrasound picture of boy / girl at 20 weeks”  to see what we could see:

We stared and stared, trying to recall what we had seen through the haze of Elsie-Ultrasound’s bitterness.  We received an email from my doctor, letting me know that I could call him Tuesday afternoon to find out.  (Tuesday??)

Luckily, the weekend was action-packed.  Between work, seeing a movie that my husband had a teensy role in, and a few precious hours that I look forward to every Sunday when I actually get to spend the Whole Day with Ken, there was no shortage of Stuff To Do to fill the time in-between complaints about having to wait.

Maternity Style at 20 Weeks

This week, I experimented with 2 new pieces from seraphine.co – their maternity leggings and the Dannii tunic/dress.  We were heading to Church and then out to lunch, so i tossed on some heels and grabbed the camera to share some pics with you.

If I can impart one vital tidbit: maternity leggings are yummy.

omg.  It’s not just the material (which is bamboo-based, and soooo soft) or the structure (which is basically seamless) but the design is heavenly…  The fabric itself has stretch and hold to it, so there isn’t any elastic-y waistband to dig into my stomach, or cause funny lines under my clothes.  They are so comfortable that I kept them on all evening after getting home (instead of changing into my PJ’s at about 6pm, which has become my habit.)

The tunic/dress feels like silk, and is gathered above the belly with a soft, wide elastic.  When I was dressing at home, I put a black cami underneath – but now that i’m looking at the pics, I actually think I would have been fine without.  I’m also wondering what it would like with a wide belt under the bust.  Can’t wait to try this dress again!  Once again, as with most of the amazing and ingenious designs from seraphine, the clothes are sized relative to my pre-pregnancy body, so they are pieces that will fit me through to July and beyond, while i’m nursing and getting back into shape.  Awesome – this dress will be adorable (and breezy) in the summer with sandals.

20 weeks – 1/2 way there!!

Boy or Girl??  Oh right!!  That was the original story…  after all the messing around, all the waiting, all the drama…  We’re having a GIRL!!  For us, this means that all the wives tales – the heart rate, the excessive morning sickness, the “carrying high”, even the crazy Chinese Gender Predictor were spot-on.  She’s a girl, and we couldn’t be happier ❤  (although, this means there may be an attempt at a second one…  but we’ll  discuss that later)

How big is she?  According to the bump.com – the size of a cantaloupe!  Wow.  That’s starting to get up there…

Still sick?  Incredibly, no puking at all this last week!  Hurray!  So, the final tally (assuming that it’s really done) is that I was sick for a total of  12.5 weeks – from 6.5 weeks until 19 weeks.  Bring on the 2nd trimester glow!

How big am I? 5 foot 11.5, 163 pounds.  That’s 15lb gain altogether…  Maybe this will be a no-donut week.

What else is new?  Been feeling her move pretty consistently since Sunday afternoon.  It’s incredible.  I can just lay for hours and get lost in how it feels…  In fact, I think i’ll sign off and go do that right now.

Whats up for next week…

  • first visit to BC Women’s somewhat-experimental “Group Prenatal / Connecting Pregnancy” program
  • my summary (so far) of things that are still surprisingly-possible at the post-half way point
  • our awesome new apartment (!) and other big pre-baby changes
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11 thoughts on “20 weeks: is it a boy cantaloupe or a girl cantaloupe?

  1. You’re having a girl! Congratulations! Can’t believe they made you wait. I was so impatient I had an early gender scan at 16 weeks, meaning I could take full advantage of the post-Christmas sales! x

  2. So sorry to hear about your horrible ultrasound experience! People like that should not be in that field. I found out that I am having a girl too! My husband and I are super excited. 🙂 Congratulations to both of you! Also, that’s a really cute dress that you are wearing in the photos.

  3. I am so sorry about your terrible experience! Really and truly, it sounds awful. I am lucky enough to be able to say that my ultrasound, which happened on the same day as yours, was a completely different experience. I think the tech actually cooed more than we did, and I couldn’t help but wonder – really, you do this every day and you’re still cooing?? So it sounds like we were really, really lucky. And we’re having a girl too!!! I am SO excited, I really wanted a girl. Congrats to you too!

    • hurray!! (also, we’re going to be broke, buying all these girl clothes, aren’t we? Especially after you having 2 little boys already!) congrats, congrats!

  4. AWESOME! The 20 wk wait is so nerve-wracking. I’m glad it’s over and now it’s time to get cute! I can’t tell you how excited I am! Goodies are on the way 😀

  5. Congrats again little girls are wonderful, says the Mother of two girls, also that little cantaloupe will end up as a watermelon don’t let Ken rub it too much or you’ll end up with a baldy like Laura was remember LOL.

  6. CONGRATS!!! Im so happy for you both!!! I used thebump.com too. What a great website! Try not to be discouraged by the u/s Tech, many of them do lack the “nice, compassionate” gene.

  7. Oh WOW!! YAY it’s a girl!! I knew it (I didn’t really was just guessing 😉 ) but I’ve been so excited to find out too, & I’m so happy for you & your husband!! You’re going to have an amazing time being the mum of a beautiful, perfect baby girl – congratulations!!! Have you thought of any names yet? Or is that top secret until your little sweetheart arrives?

    But I’m sorry that your ultrasound technician was so rude & disrespectful – no matter what is going on with her, it’s a special day for you & your husband & she should have respected that! And honestly, she should have been polite & friendly to begin with – it is part of her job working in health care to treat people well, & it doesn’t cost anything to smile & be nice to people.

    Again, I think your maternity style is amazing – you really know how to style a great outfit & pick clothes that suit your changing body shape. Think you look so beautiful & stylish!!

    Can’t wait for the next instalment of your exciting new journey! Hope the pregnancy sickness will ease soon! Take care lovely lady xoxo

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