Father’s Day was this past Sunday. My first inclination was to write a post about how my husband must feel, 6 weeks away from becoming a dad for the first time, but then I decided it would be even better to read it straight from him! So, after a long day of work and a round of twilight golf, Ken has kindly agreed to answer a few questions and share what’s going through his mind and heart.
1. How’s it going so far? Well, to be very honest, not very well. My short game sucks. I hit a few good drives but totally flubbed a couple of approach shots. OH THE BABY coming thing! I feel a mixture of excitement and terror! Babies are soooo little! I feel quite out of my league and overwhelmed by the number of things to remember. We take a pre natal class and that helps in some ways, but the information overload can be a bit much. I am comforted with the notion that we chose a good place to have the baby, and I am sure they will walk us through the delivery very thoroughly. I think I go get ice chips and say things like “breathe“. I am afraid I will feel kind of useless during the delivery as I know Jenn is doing the very, very hard part. My goal will be to support my lovely bride in whatever way I can.
2. What has been the best part about the last 34 weeks? The best part is that the process of having the baby and looking forward to her arrival creates more avenues for intimacy and closeness with my beautiful bride! The pre natal class, the stories of stupid things people say to Jenn, are all great ways to connect further in our newly married, newly pregnant couple-hood! I feel that anything that brings you closer together is always good! Sharing the weird things that happen along the way is also something that is just quite funny to regale friends and family with later.
3. What has been the most challenging part? The most challenging part is that it makes it a bit trickier to not be doing the many activities we did when we were pre pregnant, like roller blading, biking, running etc. We still do things that are fun and active, but I know Jenn really loves to run and that’s been hard on her not being as active.
4. How or when have you felt most involved? During sex. That was GREAT! The pre natal classes were good too. The sex was better however. I also have enjoyed the reading to the baby in utero. I read this “summary-like” book of Dr. Seuss stories called O Baby the Places You will Go! that’s been fun, and apparently it establishes a familiarity with the baby that helps her calm down when she hears her daddy’s voice after she’s born! The classes are the best though for me in helping me feel involved. Also, I’ve been able to go to most of the doctor’s visits and ultra sounds before the classes started and that’s been helpful too.
5. What advice would you have for other women about including their husband’s in this whole process? I am not sure. I think the key is, since all men are different, ask him how he would like to be included. There’s lots to do! Naming the baby, buying baby things, going to pre natal classes and doctors are all things you can do together.
6. What would you want to do differently next time… should there be a #2? Good question! Plan more things to do before the baby comes like weekends away or nights at the theatre and really treasure and photograph and revel in the things you can do as a couple before your focus shifts to caring for the infant. We both work often 6 days a week and not working so much would be good!
7. You’ve mentioned many times that you’ve always had a longing to be a dad – what are you looking most forward to? The main thing is just being a family and having that connection that is so special and unique as parents and how that will evolve over time! I have waited a long time for this and I know it will be a huge privilege to be a dad!
8. Anything else you want to add? Just that Jennifer is going to be an awesome Mum and I look forward to parenting my daughter with my very lovely, wonderful wife!!
he’s pretty much the best, ever.
I’m going to leave it at that this week. Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s and dad’s to be out there, including mine! We love you lots.xoxoxo